My Thought For the Day

As I looked out the patio door this morning, I saw three crows fly on to the big rocks lining the grass from the beach (this happened in July when I had the brilliant idea to drive just the three of us to an Airbnb in Prince Edward Island).

While I watched them with curiosity, two of the crows appeared to be having an argument.  

I get it...they’re crows, so how can that be?  

However, that is how it appeared; each crow taking its turn to argue with the other.

Beak opening and closing.

You could almost hear their words, their bird conversation.

Suddenly, the third bird jumped to the side of one of the other crows as if to defend it, to protect it, and to negotiate.  

But how it appeared to me was one crow taking a side.  

The third crow (or was it a raven? I can never tell the difference), looked defeated and hopped away from the other two, looked back once, and then flew away.

And those three birds reminded me of the three of us in that moment.  

My two kids arguing, me coming to his defence because of her strength and resilience, and then her walking away from the two of us.  

It made me deeply sad for her. 

She must feel like I am always choosing him over her. And I wonder if she feels she always has to fly away and be alone without the two of us?  

I wonder if she feels I am never on her side or have her back?  

When birds fly from the nest, is it because they want freedom or because they feel kicked out? Or abandoned?

What if I just loved her for who she is and as she is?  

Wouldn’t that allow her to grow into who she was always meant to be? 

What if I show up for her the way others did not show up for me at her age? 

What if I allowed them to grow their own way without my and others’ fears that they are not enough, when in fact they are everything as they are? 

What if I allowed them to be?

Without judgment. 

Without fear.  

Without the expectation to be someone else.  

Instead, we show up with love.

With support and encouragement. 

And, if I show up that way for her, it will evolve the same way, right?  

She will show up that way for others.  

And for herself.  

Worthy. 

These were my thoughts in the moment. Self-reflection.

Of course I love them the same and for different reasons.

However, working from controlled, abused, and traumatized lenses can sometimes lead to a great deal of self-doubt and questions. Including how love works.

We have come so far.

I will share more about this dynamic soon.

I can’t wait to do this again with you. Until then... 

All my best, 

J